LIVING WITH WOMEN
 

HOW’D I DO? EFFORS


Beware of female ego-boosting, that is, being set up by false compliments aimed more at manipulation than self affirmation. The proverbial "fragile male ego" is well known by most females, but commonly hidden to many males who easily confuse ego with self.

Point: Best to look the gift horse of female compliments in the mouth, lest one be set up unawarely, that is, blindly controlled by flattering statements from unconsciously wiley women.

Unconscious "ego-boosting" is, of course, to be distinguished from sincere affirmation from another. Manipulative compliments are not the same as honest observations of favorable acts or attributes. But the presence of a "fragile male ego" can be a grand temptation to a discerning female to exercise unreal powers, especially when a man is unconsciously looking for female support. The personal danger is unwittingly putting oneself down and thereby exaggerating female power at expense of male integrity.


ADVICE


Never look for self support, or ask, "How'd I do (e.g., after sex)?" Don't "fish for compliments." Reason: acting like a little boy who invites a wife to play mother, unwittingly belittles himself by avoiding challenges of self-affirmation, that is, examining and acknowledging his own experience.

Instead, examine your work in light of your own values. Certainly look, pay attention to non-verbal responses of another, for instance, how a female responds physically, for information to be considered in possible later changes; see how you did, but don't ask how you did, except when clarifying information may be useful in future endeavors.



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