LIVING WITH WOMEN
 

PRIORITIZING



DREAMING


A husband may understandably wish

that a wife were one tenth as concerned

with their relationship in the house

not to mention happiness in the bed

as she is with crumbs on the floor

or dishes in the sink


But wiser ones dream on

and keep their mouths shut

in the meantime between now

and when hell freezes over


********


Along with many advantages of wholistic thinking, as typical women naturally do, one major limitation is difficulty with prioritizing values. Deeply moved by feelings, giving sensible attention to one's values--that is, reasonably prioritizing what one says and does, is often ignored.

Emotions, mostly geared for genetic concerns only, are notoriously ignorant about relational and personal values in complex societies (they evolved too soon for this), such as the feelings of others as well as private goals. Whereas emotions may be astute in discerning threats to personal safety, and feelings are good at resurrecting acquired habits, neither genetics nor learned patterns of reacting are wise in the ways of love. For that, consciously prioritizing responses is critically important.

Unfortunately, females who are deeply responsive to emotional directions often have great difficulty in making reasonable choices more in accord with present personal values than with ancient knowledge. Males, more limited to left brain logic and prioritizing information, plus ignoring distracting feelings as well is seemingly irrelevant data, are often better at moderating actions in accord with self-chosen values--if, that is, we are able to resist a prevailing male temptation to use reasoning as a tool for trying to manipulate women, rather than remaining reasonable ourselves while in the presence of those more determined by feelings than by sense.

For examples: sensibly weighing non-emotional factors, such as, cost, afford-ability, actual need (more shoes?), immediate effect on others, long range costs to self, and most all elements of mature love--that is, agape, including acceptance, affirmation, and freeing of loved ones.


********