LIVING WITH WOMEN
 

PROJECTIONS


Accept female projections as inevitable, without taking them personally, getting defensive, and/or trying to explain yourself--as though you are the true subject.


Accept a woman's blind projections onto you without falling for or being done in by any. For example, illusions of your grandeur (“how great you are!”); savior from her family, poverty, or herself; blame/cause of her shortcomings; reason she is unhappy ("making her angry," "disappointing her," "letting her down.").

The point of accepting projections without confronting them is to tease them further into her awareness so that in time she may be able to see and withdraw them and their associated powers back into herself. Also, by standing with, you exercise and strengthen your own powers.


Respect female unconsciousness


You may be more conscious than the woman you love--that is, more aware of instinctive drives, present goals, and immediate reasons, than are those more directed by emotions than conscious sense.

From these typically different gender stances, men are often inclined to "try to make women see," if not to "make sense," plus to understand us at the same time (while, to be fair, corresponding females often wish, if not try, to make males be more emotional and less dedicated to focused thinking)--which is generally a relational mistake.

Wiser men respect a woman's greater comfort for making love in the dark (with no mirrors on the ceiling, etc.), as well as keeping her expansive thoughts to herself, shielded, as it were, from the glaring lights of consciousness as well as the scrutiny of curious men "trying to understand women" (even while avoiding trying to make them understand us).

In practice, this means respecting her right to move into consciousness at her own pace, if at all, and to love her anyway if she never does.

Finally, you may safely ask a woman "how she feels," about almost anything, anytime; but rarely is it reasonable to ask her "what she thinks."


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