INTRODUCTION


                     THE WORD


     which was in the beginning

                    with God and

                      is God

                       is Love


     Spoken,

        the word may be heard

             yet remains incomplete

        a symbol

                beautiful in itself

                           yet void

                of signification

          -form without meaning-


     Only fleshed

          does the word

                    dwell among us

          and we behold

              the glory of God


          and glory does be

              when we flesh

                    THE WORD


******



          KNOWING


where my body has been

          might interest you slightly

     and would be easier

          for me to tell


But if you dare know me

     ask instead

  about the journeys

         of my heart


And if I dare tell you

     we will love

                in the sun

     instead of passing briefly

                    in the night


*****



Come sweet bird


       and fly away with me


    Lift your head

     Spread your wings

      Let's journey

                  to the sea


        And in the salt spray

                    of wind

                     and wave

                      and sand

 

           Let's stand

                    and be


       Come sweet bird 


*****



Come ride with me

            the waves

       of that tempestuous

                        sea


       which demands all

                      and

             promises naught

 

                 save

                      life

                      and

                     love


                and that we be


*****



It looked like this

          in the sand:


     I

      Love

       You


before the wind

blew only the signs

               away


*****



ADORATION


          CORONATION


Were you there?


     Did you hear

         the trumpets?


Or did I crown you

         so privately

         so quietly

     that only I

          missed the royal event?


*****



     TOO LATE


Gallantly

     with brilliance

          after a pink fanfare

He rose


     Did he know

         he was too late

            for everything

                 except this new day?


     Already you had risen

             to the zenith

                     of my sky

                blinding me

                         to his glory


*****


Blessed Art Thou


      Creator

           of breathlessness

       Instigator

        Allower

         Partner

       Witch

        Angel

         Sweet Bird


       Come fly

             sail

              dwell

            with me


                 in breathless

                         realms

                            of

                            love


*****



There are days

      and then

          there are days


Times

      and then

          times


But for

    sheer verticalness


          Oh, today

          Oh, thou


*****

 


In the melody

    of your voice

     I take heart


 In the warmth

     of your smile

      my spirit quickens


  In the touch

      of your hand

       I come alive


   In your love

           I am

       and

         with love 


*****



the earth


      you are the earth

                the good earth

 

          into whose heart

                   my roots

                      deeply reach


          drawing forth

                    nurture

                     sustenance

                      faith

                       strength

                        hope

                         love


          from which

                grows a tree

                        reaching toward

                                      and

                        living in

                                the sun


                yet with

                    and from

                         roots

                      in the earth

                         the very good earth


*****




LANCER'S BONUS


Wine is fine

        when

 heart is gone

           and

  lovers must pretend

           but

   all we need

            is

    me and thee

             to make

     a perfect blend


               The bubbles

                   are a bonus


*****


 

          SECULAR PRAYER


I hesitate to tell you

     lest religious atheism spook you

           or my projections tempt you

                               to omnipotence


I suspect though

          that my fears are only mine

       or I would not have dared the prayer

                                to begin with


So add this confession

       to my extended list:


     In heaven, as you know,

                I touch you

           but did you also know

                that in times of my descent

                        I pray to you......

                and that you

                   answer prayers?


*****



Was it a hundred times

    or a thousand?

         who knows?

    In heaven, they keep no score


Engrossed, I was,

     Alone, I thought,

  in some new gift

           of God's wonder--

     when out of the shadows

              of my mind

      you skipped lightly

                to center stage


          Outshining the signs

                   of His presence

              with the beauty

                     of His face

                reflected in your love


                enhancing my day

                           Alone?


*****



               YOU


sometimes you say yes

          giving me permission

                     to be more of myself

                 than I dare without you


     then I like you

                  for letting me


sometimes you say no

          taking my invitation

                            away

             and I must risk

                           being alone


     then I hate you

                 for denying me


            until I discover

                   that the right was

                             always mine

                                    anyway

     and I am freed

           to love you

                    for yourself alone


*****



At times of my fear

     in your absence

   or my excitement

     in your presence

I sometimes make an idol

              out of you

     forgetting

           that the journey to myself

                     is the main event


But then I remember

     as my faith allows

        me to return you to earth

     and I am freed

           to love you all the more


*****



     ODE TO PURE GRACE


I know now

       why you scare me so


  Mostly I speak.

         I'm comfortable there.


     But you call me

          you call me forth

           you call me

                  to the faith required

                   to practice what I preach


  I am at home

          speaking myself

     but you dare invite me

                  to become

                      who I am


     So naturally

                I fear


                    and love you


                        PURE GRACE


*****



ALONE


     ONE BEFORE TWO


We can only

        fit together

When we're fit

        to be alone


*****


FOR A GOURMET COOK


The most important

         ingredient

         sometimes

  in a delicious love

  is the embraced ability

      to stand shaking


                  alone


*****


Alone Again

        I've gone

     As so often

        I must

Awaiting the return

            of Thou

So I can walk again

          with Thee


*****


SEPARATE

      we met again:

She there: I here


       Now

       in the aftermath

              of our love

       we are separate again


Yet one

    together


*****




AWE


touch the Sun,

          Love,

          with me


      It's light will heal our blindness


close your eyes

       and we will see forever

                in this moment

 fear not the heat

       only our hearts

                  will know the flame

  open yourself now

       the shadow of God

                   enfolds us


     Heaven is at hand


          So come, Love,

                    touch the Sun

                               with me


*****




BEAUTY

 

I love beauty

     wherever I can find it

but when I have a choice

     I'll take the beauty

                 of touch

                 anytime

          over the beauty

                 of sight


     My heart sees much better

                than my eyes


*****




CARING



When you want it

     you want something

              very big

     and few are able


So ask carefully


*****



          SYMPATHY


The hell of it is

    I can't do a damn thing

 

      and that's the hell of it


But if some lonely time

    your heart hits bottom


Please know that

     I'm standing around

               somewhere


              loving you


*****



It may well be

     that absolutely no good

                      at all

     will come from this

          senseless tragedy.


None, I'm sure,

      could ever redeem it.


Even so, I hold you closer

         now in my heart

     than ever before

             in my arms.


*****



FIGHTING,

     attacking or defending,

     driving or running away,

     being biologically based,

Is always easier

     than hearing

          the projected confessions

           of a tortured soul

           on the war path

But not half the fun

     in the long run

           as loving

              anyway


       though lonely


*****



The short side of caring

                  is sad;

Caring itself is good,

     but its end

         is always bad,

Unless it becomes

       the beginning of love.


*****




DANGERS


RUN QUICKLY, MY LOVE, AWAY

     Unless you want

          to sing the sea's song forever

              dance the equinox

                climb the rainbow

                 bathe in the milky way

                  drink wine in fire light

             ride love tides to the horizon

                                  and beyond

                     be born again

                        in the midnight sun


     Unless you want to

            run quickly, my love,

                              away

            for my opening heart

                      calls you

                 my hand beckons

 

                           come....


*****



Be careful

        or

     I'll love you


Look at me

        and I'll smile at you

Speak to me

         and I'll answer you

Listen to me

          and I'll talk to you

Touch me

      and I'll respond to you

Love me

     and I'll open my heart to you


All this, of course,

          when I have the nerve

          to be present with you


     Otherwise, I'll probably run


If not

   I'll love you 


*****



RUN FROM ME, LOVE,

     If you're smart

          when I have to have you

See through my charade

            of not needing you

Do not be deceived

          by my invisible prison bars


     When my gift has a hook

                   don't bite

Run, Love,

     with all your might


     But not too far

               I hope

     So that when I come to my senses

                                 again

                knowing I can't 

                            and

                standing it


You'll be somewhere listening

                for your name


*****


Don't love me

      for I am naught

      And might be

                 blinded

                 by your love


Love with me

     when you will

 

          and we will see

                  together


*****



     PENNY ANTE POKER


Actually

     the fun is in the gamble

 

                 I know that


     but often I forget

          when the stakes

                are not high


*****




DEFINITION

 

Loving

    is

    building bridges

                  and

    meeting 

                  and

    being with


All else

      is

      naught


*****



LOVING and IN LOVE

       are opposites:


Each excludes the other.


The first is heaven;

The second is hell,

     though cloaked

     in gossamer illusions

                   of bliss.


*****



In love

    you can lean

        and support

    trust and be counted on

     give your heart

                  and

     get one in return


But loving

     means standing


And that takes faith


*****



     CHOOSING TO LOVE


                I shouldn't love,

                        but I may,

                       because

                  love is a choice

                      not a duty

                          a could

                      not a should

                          an option

                      not an ought.


               Loving is inherently virtuous

                       but love is not a virtue.


                Whenever I slip into the realm of duty,

                         I fall out of the land of love.


                Love is not yet a part of human nature,

                                 a natural thing to do;

                     still it remains

                            an elusive decision

                     calling for the highest

                                  within me

                    and a nerve I often fail

                                      to muster.


                I've evolved, obviously,

                      far enough to want it

                                      but not

                      far enough to bring it--

                         without choosing.

                  

                Nothing yet within drives me to love;

                I can't, without rising to my zenith.


                Calling in my chips

                               comes easy, and

                Tit for Tat is ingrained by now--

                                  or running away;

                    for these I need not choose.

 

                But ignoring my chips,

                                  tits or tats,

                              and reaching out

                    is sometimes the greatest

                                act of courage

                    in my repertoire of human choices--


                Especially in the dark.


*****


Loving,

     I hate to see and say,

is often not

     the loving thing

                 to do


Even God

     sometimes

hides himself

      for sake of love


*****




DISTANCE


Rather your blows

            or your tears

       than the hollow smile

            that separates us

       as surely as a stone wall

            and leaves me alone

                        isolated

            in the fearful walls

            of my own non-existence


Would that I were whole

        so I could be content

      to accept the smile

                 and know

                that your own needs

                        at this time

         prevent your coming out

                       to meet me


But now

      I cannot


*****




DIVORCE



     Divorce Pros


Con information is abundant

Pro knowledge is often kept secret


Here's one show and tell:


The honesty of untying an illusionary knot

                          for all its pain

    is better than the dishonesty

    of stabilizing what is inherently

                               unstable


*****

 


ENDING LOVE


APART


Stubborn pride

         or fear


     I know not what

       kept us apart

                   so long

            that the jungle

                      became impenetrable

                           or too fearsome

                              or something


            and so apart

                 we part


*****



TEMPORARY ERRORS

       are yours


      the fundamental sin

                  is mine


*****



Sometimes

     a spoken word

                 is

     more difficult

  than an obvious

              fact


  especially

     when a dream

                is

          breaking


*****



the dying, yes,


           but why did it have to rain?


    deaths are inevitable

            an integral part

            of the process

            of being born again


       but why did it have to rain?


                 slowly

                  gently

                   tenderly


                 courting that full moon

                 mounting to a high wind


           at the time of death


the dying, yes,


           but why did it have to rain?


*****



Yellow the leaves

       and green

    in the Fall of love

       and love's Spring


*****





October has come

   warm summer has gone away

Yet the sun still shines


*****




EVENTS


   a tragedy


she came

     bearing gifts


             always


       never knowing

             that she


         was more

             than

             enough


*****



          DUMB ONE


I've heard some dumb ones

                in my time

       but this one

                 tops the list:


       "Thank you for loving me"


        As though my reward

           weren't greater than

                        your own


*****



I'm glad you've refused

     to fall in love with me

That temptation

     I might not

          have been able

                to resist


*****


Dawn

     plays hide and seek

          on the ceiling

     with the lights of passing cars


          she sleeps soundly

                          now

                           but not me

     There is a heaviness

           like the smell of bananas

                               overripe

                            or gardenias

                               dying

             in the scent

                        of spent love

             as I return

                     to my lostness

                     and she sleeps


Dark

     plays hide and seek

             in the soul of my being

     with the lights of passing love


*****



REGRETTABLE PARADOX:


Fiercely I drove home

              my tenderness

         insisting that she receive it.

Tenderly she offered

               her fierceness

         allowing me to deny it.


Regrettably we missed.


*****




EXPECTATIONS


IF YOU WANT TO HURT,

        really hurt,

   slip into the chasm

        of EXPECTATIONS in a relationship;


   the fall may be fun

       but with it comes, in time,

     the predictable bottom,

       kindly called DISAPPOINTMENT;


   more honestly named:

        THE END OF THE WORLD


*****


        PRICE


The major cost of love

          is expectations.


Fortunately,

     the reward,

     knowing God,

Is well worth the price.


*****



Your shortcomings

     are much easier to see

              than are

My expectations

     on which they are based


     But far less useful

             to focus on


*****




FORGIVENESS



to have been loved long

                      is

to have been forgiven

                 often


     to love

          is

     to do the same


*****



No apologies please

     or explanations

         excuses or

          reasons


They're not required

             needed or

              wanted


You've earned the right

    to be yourself with me

    (as though love didn't

               grant it first)


So, mysterious one,

     say no more

      than who you are 

                     and

      meet me when you can


Your love

       is more than enough


*****


 

GIFTS


I cannot give you

     the surprise of being surprised

         by an equally surprised bullfrog

      the whispering music of wind

                      in tall pines

       the silence of walking

                    on damp moss

         the smell of mulberries

                    and wet pine needles

          the rhythm and designs of a black water snake

                      crossing a still pond

           the dark brilliancy of red sweetgum leaves

                     approaching our common destiny

            the sway of tall feathery cattails

                                         breeze caressed

             the soft of velvety brown mushrooms

                           inviting touch

              the delicate nerve of Indian Pipes

                   daring to stand alone

                the taste of cool spring water

                            fresh-freed from dark ground


Nor my love


        but would

             that I could


*****


HEART


          THE TIME OF HEART


Cold is the time

         of the heart's away

                           and hard

                            and alone

            mo matter how many

                       are with


     Warm is the time

                  with heart

                         and wild

                          and tender

                     sweet

                       and present


          The difference

                sometimes

                       is your smile


*****


          SIZE OF HEART


In the outside world

       things may properly be divided

                  into large and small

But in the realm of heart

       such distinctions disappear

     a little kiss

       may be larger than an elephant

     the Empire State Building

       may be smaller than a single touch


When you come to heart

         forget about size


     It doesn't matter anyway


*****


HEALING


Love and Therapy

     share a common phenomenon:

In the midst of each

     we find the freedom

To become more honest

      in the assumed acceptance

of Lover or Therapist,

     To trot out our pathology

     To reveal our ghosts

     To chance being healed


*****


INTIMACY


No intercourse

        could have been more intimate

   than our silent communion

         in that church

              of wind/rock

                 water and sun

   when the Holy Spirit breathed

        through our finger tips


*****



love is strong

     but the threads of intimacy

                      are tenuous


*****


Embodied

    once more

  my mind

       as always

     turns to you

who more

    than any other

    know my heart

         born of the union

              of them both


*****



LEARNING


          GOOD EARTH


Once I thought

     you were the good earth


            perhaps you were

                    back then

                        to me


But no more


        God now

             is my ground

And you, dear heart,

                 are

         his handmaiden

                grown too

                 from His soil

                       like me

             eloquently voicing

                        His word

                               of

                        pure grace


*****


LEAVING

 

Why "Love" Fails:


After awhile it becomes evident

      that salvation takes faith

                              and

      that grace is not the same

                    as dependency


Then one must either

         muster courage and

         go to work

    

     or leave.


The latter is the more popular choice.


*****



          LETTING GO


The reaching forth

                of letting go

                        I love


    The challenge

               of the next bend

                   awakens music

                        in my heart


        will there be

                     a lush green pasture?

                     a thirsting desert?

                     a bed of ease?

             or yet another mountain

                     higher than the last?


    Eagerly

         my eyes

            strain for a first look

         my ears

            reach out like invisible arms

                   grasping for any sound

         my mind

            races the halls

                   of my willing imagination


The reaching forth

                of letting go

                        I love


                        But, God,

                              

                              how I hate

                                     the parting


*****



PARADOX OF LOVE


Certainly

     there is more to life

              than fishing


But

     there is nothing in life

              any more

     than catching a fish

 

          and letting one go


*****



Curse the yellow moon

      but still it bathes

      the dark night

after love has gone


*****


Gentle

   the come

        and go

            of love


 Always

   with promise


  Yet

     the heart

         weeps

         alone


*****


MATURITY


     BEYOND IMPRESSION


No need now

     to please or prove

        apologize or defend

We've come too far

           for that


There is nothing

      to give or get

   save new heights

        greater depths

             of honesty


     the shared joy

      of being our fuller selves

                         together


*****



          THE NAME


Somewhere along the path

             of tending others

          we lost some touch

             with an essential part

                       of who we are


Now together,

     I trust we may find

       our separate selves more fully

     and each other

           in the process


     And the name

             will be Love


*****



          APART


Once we met

     to escape being apart

 not knowing then that

     apart is how we are


The reality of our flight

     was lost in the illusions

                 of our unions


Apart not

      sometimes we meet

            not to escape

            but to enhance

                 our separation


     To celebrate being apart

                      together


*****



to hold a bird


   since I was very young

         I have wanted

                     to hold a bird


         then

            I tried traps

                      guns

                       cages

                        and putting salt

                             on their tails


         later

             I tried tricks

                       guises

                        gifts

                         and putting salt

                             on their tables


but now

      I have learned

        that the only way to hold

                            a bird

              is to free one

                      in love


*****



Absence, extended,

     as most know,

     makes hearts grow fonder;

          often, in spite of themselves.


Presence, extended,

     as most forget,

     makes hearts grow colder;

          unless fanned by designs of will.


*****



When I love you,

   I act omnipotent with you

                     when you

     act like you're godless

          so that eventually

                      perhaps

    you may be able to stand

                       seeing

      that I'm no god either

              and then maybe

        we can both be human

        and love each other.


But when I don't,

         I just go ahead and

            act godless too.


*****



ONLY WAY


Once upon a time

      let was fine

Later

      for would do

Now

      with is the only way

           I care to go

Otherwise

      alone is good enough

                     for me


*****


MEETING


To seek another

             is

To flee oneself

 

     To meet another

                  is

     To find oneself


*****



You were

    across the room

           physically distant

    yet

      I heard each sigh

                and sound

        that escaped your

             beautiful lips


      I saw each movement

            guarded and open

                         alike


      I felt each heartbeat

             as with my own

                  and each joy

                       and pain


      I touched each tender place

                      revealed and

                       concealed


      I knew your love

          though

        you were

            across the room


*****



          TENDER


tough

   we met

      guarded and careful

   we sparred and

      jockeyed for position

   but somehow

        seeing

           saw through

                   and

               the game ended

   then

tender

    we encountered

               and great thereof

                    was the joy


*****



Can it be?

    Can it really be?

    That such as you

                 loves

         such as me?


It's much too much

          to just accept

       as though

          I had the right.


*****



             haiku


     to have lived so long

        without a yellow flower

     still resurrection


*****



Like Sun, God's fire

          on a frozen lake

     Slow rain

          melts the ice

                 of my heart,

          bringing to this eternal place

                       the Infinite gift of

                            personified Spirit

                            Word Made Flesh

     A mirror metaphor

              of course

          for the resurrecting warmth of

                                 fleshly words

                                 spirited persons

              the temporal gift of God

                           inherent

                             in this event

                            of loving now


*****



How you meet

     is not the point;

That you do

         is.


     So why does everyone ask

            "How'd you meet?"


*****



I cannot meet you

         when

I cannot walk away


*****



When goes the sun

     down today


  we'll be there

 

        foretasting

        eternal times


                 to come


*****


MISSING


breast-soft

 inner-thigh-smooth

  secret-silence-tender


 the kiss

     cool as love wind

              yet warm

                   then

          and electric


     searing hot

             now

              in a heart alone

     burning the soul

             because it is

                          a

                     memory


  the dark clouds

           close in


      where

         oh

           where

              is the sun?


*****



NO MOON

lights the night

       when love is gone

the bathing yellow beams

        may wash the land

                       but

they do not reach

            the dark

                  of the heart


     come love

          with haste

       journey through

                sounds of night

       open eternity's door


     my bed is wide

            and empty

            except for me

        and my call

                for love


     come quickly love

              for there is

                    NO MOON


*****



How dark the night

    when light has gone

    when the bright sun

             gives way

         to evening sun

    when evening sun

         gives way

          to the glimmer

    when the glimmer

             gives way

             to the horizon


How dark the night

         and behold

             how often

                  you are

                  the light


*****



brown leaves

 cloudy sky

  soft rain

   open road


peace

  and

   loneliness


wish you were here


*****



          ON REASON


Explaining away

           rejection 

       is easier than

                  embracing distance


     Still,

            the night

           is just as cold


*****



I felt

   the soft

        and

       smooth

           of

       sand

   and it was

       of thee

 

       only you

            were not here


             but you were


*****



         NO PLACE


There is no place

      untouched

             by signs of us

      uncolored

             by shades of our presence

      unlighted

             by gleams of our sun

                                sharedness

      unfilled

            by memories of our togetherness


There is no place

         so why run?


      But how can I stand

                     standing

                        in your away?


*****



NEED


STAND-IN


I need you

       often

    to stand in for God

                  in times

    of my absence


*****



You say

    you do it

    "because you love me"


Hell,

   I don't care

     about your motives


   Just love me

             now


*****




NEW LOVE


Changing the names

     won't change

          the game


     we, my love,

         must do that

  

  and I trust

           we shall


*****



PAIN


     AGONY


How delightful

     to imagine

          your flying!

     until I feel

          the wrenching yank

     by the invisible cords

          which obviously,

                   damn it,

          bind my heart

                   to you


Meanwhile,

     in this Gethsemane

   I pray for resurrection


*****



Your No

     sometimes

     is the most painful word

     in the English language

          slicing deeply

     into the heart

          of my anticipation


     But hearing it I must

                     and will

          knowing that without it

                there is no substance

                                     in

Your Yes

                or our love


*****



          ABSENCE


Absence doesn't make

     my heart grow fonder

But our time apart

     let's my heart grow stronger

That I may bear the fire

     of our meeting

Without being consumed

     in the flame

          of our love


*****

 


I hate you

        of course

     for all the time

             and attention

                  touch

              and love

     which you give

            to anyone

                besides me


But because you can

            and do


     I love you

            all the more


*****



          SLIM CHANCES


We meet

   some relatively rare times

     on the bridges

     of mutual responsibilities

                jobs and

                  sex


     Otherwise,

          which is most of the time,

                              we miss


Is this tragedy

     my failure?

     or the way things are?


     In either case

          it is sad


*****


SAD TALE

      of a

  "Happy Marriage":


We stayed together

                 by

     keeping apart


*****


PARTING


     WISH FOR LATER:


That we may learn to endure

        the pain of parting

                           so

That we no longer

             have to leave

        before we part


And the sooner

    the better


*****



          BACK TO ONE


Together with you

          happily

     the rules of arithmetic

         inevitably work


  one and one

      always makes two

                    and

  two times lonely

      always equals love


Then, for a time,

      the progression increases

                       astronomically

      before the painful substraction

                                     of


BACK TO ONE


*****



     WRONG AGAIN


After all our practice

      I never thought

        that leaving you

        could be so hard

                    again


Doesn't experience count for anything?


     My head says Yes

         but this bottomless pit

                  in my stomach

         cries our unmistakably:


                     WRONG AGAIN


*****



I saw your fear

  but ignored it in my haste

              for understanding


  now you are gone


  would that I had paid attention

        before the wings of love

                      were seared


*****



     GIANT STEP


Without a fight

        to ease the pain

Without promises

        of tomorrow

        to escape the now

We stayed together

        right up to goodbye


******


ALSO THE RISING


the sun goes

          at the end

 

          as does love


     but the sun

         also rises

              again


     and so it is

        with love


peace lies

        in abiding one

                     as joyfully

                     as the other


           the ending

                   and

           the rising


*****


POSSESSION


     HAVING YOU


The illusion of possession

      cloaks the challenge

                    of love


     Unfortunately

         it cloaks

                the possibility

                            also


*****



     NOT YOURS


I'm not yours

    and never will be


Once I wanted to be

     and tried giving myself

         until my heart told me

                    it was wrong


Now when I can

          I bring myself

           I come sharing

    and know, Love,

        that I have no skin

                      or thought

                       or history

                        or dream

                         or feeling

                unopened to your touch


         whenever I dare

                     come to you

                           as myself


*****



ENDANGERED SPECIES,

     Verging on extinction:


Non-possessive love


*****



A long-distance swim

     of eternal consequence:


Across the gulf between

     having lovers and loving


*****



To have someone

             is

To free him


To let someone go

               is

To have him forever


*****


PRAYER


For the truth of our meeting

     I thank God


For the wine and cheese,

        countless courtesies,

              and being there

     I thank you


*****


PRESENCE


SEDUCED

     by God's caress

            and wind

     into the roleless

                    now


  But them

      I always am

    whenever He is near

                 or you


*****



PROMISES


The promise of love

      is commitment

Without a promise


*****



Love

like a good sentence

       can be qualified

               to death

like truth

  it stands on its own

     without justification

                or promise


*****




ROMANCE


ROMANTIC LOVE

     is an illusionary affirmation of one's deepest self.

  The affirmational experience is real--that is,

                     the self-affirmation, but

  The illusion is that it comes from the other person

      who is but engaged in a mirror performance.


*****




REMEMBERING


THE MEMORY

     of the union


      of our juices

              thoughts

                hearts

Sometimes seems

     more than I

          can bear


*****



I hate redundance

              and

I fear going back


     but do you suppose

          a feather

            will ever fall

            and find me

                  alone?


     I think not


*****


Slow rain

     thank God


still unbinds

      my heart


     poised

      waiting

       potent

    in His presence


Always

  there is room

        for you


*****



clearly

     in these fogs


     we met

        and

     walked away


  always to remain


*****



                WERE IT NOT


were it not

        for the eyes of my yesterday

     I would not be able to glimpse your face

          in the mystery of this eternal woman


were it not

        for the ears of my heart

     I would not be able to hear your laughter

          in the voice of her waves


were it not

        for the fingers of my mind

     I would not be able to touch you

          on this her lonely shore


were it not

        for the arms of my memory

     I would not be able to hold you

          when fog-ghosts come too near


were it not

        for the body of my soul

     I would not be able to warm you

          when the seawind cuts too deeply


were it not

        for the gift of God

     I would not be able to love you

          as I do just now


     But it is


          And I do


*****



A GENTLE RAIN


How can I ever stand

          a gentle rain

          a yellow flower

          a love wind

          a high hill

          a sound of music

     without you?


But then

     how would I ever have known

                a gentle rain

                - - - - - - -

                  - - - - - -

                    - - - - -

                      - - - -

                        - - -

                           - -

                              ?


*****



SALVATION


Kiss my hurt

         and make it go away

 Take my loneliness

          and fill it with your presence

  Expand my littleness

           with the breath of your bigness

   Indwell my weakness

            with your strength

    Touch my face

              and change my division

                           into wholeness

     Drown my troubles

           in the warm sea of your song

      Erase my falseness

            with the wealth of your reality

 

                  for you are love

                           and love is all


*****



SELF


Thee & Me


     I love thee

              as

     I love me


          I cannot love thee more

                               when

          I love me less


       Nor can

           I love thee less

                        when

           I love me more


     Love


       it seems

       is inseparable


*****



Being For Me


When I fear my pleasure

     I want you to be pleased

When I fear my excitement

     I want you to be excited

When I fear my sensuality

     I want you to be sexy

When I fear wanting you

     I want you to want me

When I fear looking good

     I want you to like my looks

When I fear loving you

     I want you to love me


In other words


When I'm afraid to be myself

     I want you to be for me


Otherwise,

          I enjoy

          "Just Being"

             with you


*****



          DIVORCE


A better model

     will only work better

               temporarily

While one is again

     distracted

          from the failure

To become himself


*****



SEX


It may begin

        with love

    or countless variations 

               on the theme


But finally

        sex

        like sleep

              ends

              anonymously


*****



Two Squirrels

    making babies

           if not love

     ignite the fire

         in my loins

                  and

            the flame

         in my heart


     bringing the fullness

           of your presence

         to the passion

           of this moment


*****



COM-PASSION (With-passion)

     is literal;


Higher love is rooted

            in lower love.


There is no such thing

      as passionless love.


Compassion is the apex of passion,

         not its ultimate absence.


*****




     WAY TO GO


The threat

    of pain and fear,

  when faced and stood,

Leads often

      to the greater threat

      of sex and fun,

Which,

     if endured,

     open the door to

     joy and love.


*****



SOCIAL CRAZINESS:


Making love

       is obscene

Making hate

       is not


*****



STRANGE VALUES:


Ashamed

     of making love

Proud

     of making money


*****


TALK


Too much love

    is impossible

Too much expression

    is


*****




          TOO HONEST


There's no such thing as

           being too honest

    but it is a fact that

           the truth can hurt

    and there is a such a thing as

                      too much pain.


*****



To try to drive home a point

                      is, often,

to evade the mystery of meeting.


*****



Love tells all

     about some things


            and naught

     about others


  but mostly in between


Since mystery

      is its ground


*****



Tragic murder

     Just as real:


     Love talked to death


*****


TIME


          NO CLOCK


I fear you sometimes

       because

       you have no clock


  You are not bound

       to the chronological events

                       which consume

                               others

                       while protecting them


     You be

         as the spirit moves

                          you


  And birth my love

 

            Yet sometimes I fear

                      your having


                      NO CLOCK


*****



IS LOVE FOREVER?


but who could endure

          its intensity?


Is Love Forever?


     I know not

but this I do know:


           for now

                now is enough


*****


          TIME


But of course

     we don't have enough time

  Never have

     never do

          and most probably

                never will

  Because love is eternal

          always giving the clock

          more than it can measure

                filling every hour

                            so full

                that it overflows

  Even everlasting

       could not hold

             this eternal time

                        we share


*****



          ALWAYS


The enormity of the nows

                  in love

          are so awesome

     that before I know it

                  I'm fleeing

                         into

                      forever


*****



to love long

   is to keep many questions

                      unasked

                          and

                 many answers

                   to oneself


*****




TRUST


TRUSTING YOU

          is

trusting myself

       with you

that I will be able to meet you

     without losing myself in you

     to hear you

        without forgetting what I think

     to talk to you

        without becoming a liar

     to feel for you

        without denying my feelings

     to love you

        without falling in love with you

     to leave you

        when my time to go arrives

and if you must leave first

     to go on living with heart anyway

          (with, of course, my grief)


Dare I TRUST YOU?


*****


UNDERSTANDING


I love her,

       when I am not trying too hard

                   to understand her

       because

           she accepts me

               without having to understand

                      except when I push her

                                to understand


*****


UNION


the gods awaken

    when night begins

         to stretch her long tenuous

                               fingers

                         toward the day


they stretch and yawn

     as the vainglorious sun

            makes his last showy effort

               at escaping his longed-for

                                    destiny


     and then as night

          takes her love

             to her bosom


         they are free


they move in and out

      melting iciness

       softening hardness

        quickening spirit

         raising the dead

      until the whole world

                       is alive

                   and my heart


      and I am one

            in the night

                with the gods


                     and thee


*****


WAITING


     LOVE'S ASSUMPTION


I assume you'll come

                 when you can

                      and will

Meanwhile I proceed

               with living

               my own life


And waiting


*****



to love long

          is

to wait often


     seldom do two hearts

                      beat

     to the same rhythm


in the meantime

        we wait

if we love


     while going ahead

           living well

             of course


*****


WANTING


WANTING


you to want me

--beyond the slightest bit of pragmatism--

is but a thin cloak

for my fear of how much

I want you


and not nearly enough cover

for the cold nights

of our distant dreams


*****



     PERFECTION


Five loaves

  of wanting

 will cover a multitude

               of flaws


Especially

      with two fishes

 of desire in return


*****


CONCLUSION


I used to think

     I needed permission

           to be excited

     before I discovered

     I had to give the permission away

           in the first place


     Now I get excited

                whenever I think

                         I can stand it

                and sometimes when

                         I forget to think


I used to believe

     in Santa Claus

     before I found out

            I had to give things away


     Now I believe in Santa Claus

                    whenever I do


I used to think

     God made the world

          before I found out

     the world made God

          before I found

     God who made both


I used to think

     Love made the world go round

          before I found

     the world made love go round

          before I found

     Love

          which wasn't going anywhere


          Except here

                 wherever I am


                  before I found you


*****



                AT NOON


sometimes at noon

             sun-high

             in the busy midst of things

     I think I'll forget love


                Who needs it?

                Why bother?

     I think I'll outgrow it


but then

    there comes a yellow flower

                  a gentle rain

                   a tender night

          and I know

                 heart-deep

              I'll never forget

                             love


*****

 

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